Why have you been so depressed? Most of the time you know why, and sometimes you don't know exactly why it has hung on for so long. Often it is due to old patterns of thinking relating to past hurts, betrayals, or abandonment. False beliefs about yourself concomitant with old patterns of thinking and behavior are beneath your conscious memory. In therapy I will help you to dismantle these beliefs and thought patterns and to become aware of them; then to change these to healthier beliefs. Your self-esteem and confidence will improve, as well as feeling worthwhile.
When ere children, you had to protect yourself against the feeling that you weren't enough, or you were discouraged by others from expressing your needs. All children want to be loved for who they really are. Instead, you had expectations thrown upon you and you quickly learned that being your true self was scary and the fear of the loss of love dictated your behavior. The message was "you're not important." In therapy you will become aware of what you were feeling: dependent, vulnerable need for approval and love to develop a strong sense of self. As an adult, these underlying i are still there because they were completely repressed in childhood and the actual "brainwashing" that happened continues until you realize it, and need the help of a competent therapist to help you to uncover these memories. Then the cause of your depression will be revealed. At this point you will go through a grieving period and work on examining the false beliefs. As a result, you will be able to focus on the true qualities you have, thereby regaining your sense of worth.
Another factor that brings on depression involves the psychological term, Projection. For example, arguments with a significant other, a friend, or family member that become painful, you become trigger, unaware that you are using old defense mechanisms in order to protect yourself. But in your present adult life they are not necessary. I will help you with letting go of the past scenarios that as a child you found difficult to accept or deal with. You repressed your feelings so that as adult, similar vignettes and relationships manifest in your life. As a child you just accepted that your parent(s) did not "get" you, and accepted that your needs and needs weren't met, because of the fear of loss of love or abandonment. As an adult you repeat the childhood wounds in your adult relationships. When you find that you have created situations and relationships in which you are faced in the present, that resemble the person in your early life who shamed you, humiliated you, coerced you, it is time to stop this unhealthy cycle. As we work on remembering, then you realize that the beliefs you held about yourself simply are not true. Before you know it, your true self appears and there is no need to stifle yourself, but to free yourself in order to have a fulfilling life, with fulfilling and mindful relationships.
Anxiety ties into depression and can be partially created by it, because your unfelt feelings nag at you until you become aware of them. The childhood "decisions" or beliefs that protected the "child's heart" are still there running your life, trying to get needs met in all the wrong ways. As described above, the hurts, rejections and betrayals hang on and only when you become aware of them in therapy are you able to be free, happy, and truly knowledgeable about yourself. Then you begin to attract different friends into your life, and a partner who is right for you. You will become better at communicating your feelings and needs, you will have high self-esteem and knowledge of yourself, which will work in every area of your life.